Holiday Help

Holidays aren't always "Ho-Ho-Ho".  For some, the holidays are a time of stress, feelings of lonliness or other unpleasantness.  Below are some tips for people and families facing holiday difficulties.

For Those Facing Lonliness, Sadness

1. Get out.  Go to the local mall or anywhere else where there are crowds of people.  Sometimes the mall will sponsor a singing musical group or have ice skating for guests.  Go what what's going on.  Even if you don't participate in the local activites, being around others may be helpful. 

   Remember, however, that if you feel sad or lonely, there are reasons for that.  Respect your feelings and realize that it is okay to feel however you are feeling.  Feelings are not wrong or right.  They just are.  With that said, while you need to respect and acknowlege your feelings, give yourself just a limited time to wallow in them.  After that, it is helpful to do something else.  So, feel whatever you feel--and then--get out.

2.  Create and develop your own holiday rituals. If there were things that you enjoyed while growing up, consider doing the same for yourself now.  Are there special meals, music, cultural or religious events that are meaninful?  Or maybe something less traditional that you want to develop as your own holiday

 tradition or custom.  Again, there are no rights or wrongs here.  Just creativity and personal preference.

3. Eat!  No matter what, how or when, remember to eat at holiday time.  Even if it seems more like a chore than a pleasure, meals are important to nourish the body.  And if you choose to go out instead of prepare something at home, that gets you out of the house.  That's important too.

4.  Keep in touch with friends and family.  Phone call, e-mails and of course personal visits help to stay connected.

5.  Do something nice for yourself.  Maybe gifting yourself is something that you've never done--maybe it's time. 

Handling Stress

1.  Only do, what you can do.  Holidays are a lot of work. 

2.  Let others help.  It's okay to delegate some responsibilities to the children.  Younger children can set the table and help with the housework.  Older children and teens can help cook, wrap gifts and help keep the younger children out of the way so that you can get other things done.

3.  It's okay to keep things simple.  Maybe you come from a family where holiday meals were very elaborate.  It doesn't have to be that way.  Store bought pies can be very good and just require heating in the oven.  Dressing (or stuffing, depending on the part of the country you're from) out of a box saves time and energy.  Canned cranberry sauce is easy enough.  And a simple center piece of a single candle or something else can be picked up at the local grocery store.

4.  Take short naps.  Pretend that you're in first grade.  Lie down during the day for a half-hour. 

5.  Take time for yourself.  Is walking in the park a part of your usual routine?  Then do it.  The more of a regular routine that you can keep, the easier things will be generally.

6.  Be mindful of the holiday.  It's easy to stay so busy that the meaning of holidays is forgotten.  Take time to be reflective.